


another summer something

by sun_incarnate



Series: taste the sun again [2]
Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Childhood Friends, Kevin went to the city to study and came back home for a day, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Pining, Summer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:40:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27083527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sun_incarnate/pseuds/sun_incarnate
Summary: "but kevin," again. the bouquet looks even bigger now when it's handed back to him. "you're not the only one capable of change."
Relationships: Kim Sunwoo/Moon Hyungseo | Kevin
Series: taste the sun again [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1976272
Comments: 6
Kudos: 38





	another summer something

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mournancholy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mournancholy/gifts).



> lovely!! this fic is a gift to [mournancholy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mournancholy/pseuds/mournancholy) (wasnt sure if i could use your name here sorry) as celebration of her entering tbz ficdom!!! 
> 
> — this fic makes much more sense if you read the first part, but it's ok as a stand-alone too! (tho i highly encourage reading the first fic)!! happy reading !!

"ric-ah, you know what i mean. don't have to worry, promise."

because it isn't so often that kevin gets to be home again. 

he's back to celebrate his mother's birthday, coaxed from the city by her tinny voice through the phone and the promise of home-cooked meals. for every year that he spends away, he gets less and less chance in taking a break, swamped by university and part-time jobs so much so that he's already beat without even thinking of the 2-hour train ride back to their little town. 

thinking back to the conversation he's had earlier on the phone, he knows that eric's concern is just playful worrying and nothing more. he's aware of it, that the call's more for checking in on him rather than a reminder to go back to seoul. kevin though, knowing what awaits beyond the doors as the train gradually comes to a stop, chuckles at the absurdity of the momentary wishing of just staying here forever.

it's the last station, one end of the train tracks, the final one as their town borders a great lake, and the streets are short on the way back home so there's no point hailing a taxi for it. _better save some of my leftover change, knowing_ him _he'll probably not be satisfied with just one popsicle._

the thought makes him stop, and no matter how heavy his bag has gotten where it's hung on his shoulders he still pauses to take in that _finally_. 

_finally another summer day._

and this is what kevin repeats to himself over and over again, until he's singing the same phrase with a melody he's pretty sure he's just made for it alone.

making his way down familiar streets, he dials chanhee's number, _it's almost 5pm, how's it still this hot_ , not really surprised that he wasn't at the station to meet him. he's probably sleeping, graveyard shift at the convenience store his part-time work for the summer, and if he hadn't been the one who requested that he be notified immediately of kevin's arrival then kevin wouldn't really dare call him.

and _this better be you, moon kevin_ , comes groggy through the phone, and at this point kevin's just glad that chanhee's answered. he ducks under the shade of a tree, starting to feel the want to stay out of the heat, but the angle of the setting sun just fucked everything over.

"like anybody else would ever think of disturbing your beauty sleep."

a deep sigh. _where are you?_

kevin looks for the little trinkets shop that _should be here somewhere, where's the red-tiled roof?_ and there's rustling from the other end of the call. chanhee must be getting up from bed still, savoring every moment he spends attached to his bed, and kevin pauses at an intersection to get his bearings. he's pretty sure the clinic in front of him was stood where he recalls the trinkets shop to have been built.

a quick look to the side, _maybe the clinic's just at the front and they moved just farther back? ah_ , no such luck. it's just a clinic. 

to the phone, _still by the station, the... clinic? just, …this new-ish building, that looks..very clinic……-esque?_

_ah_ , kevin turns around while he waits, wiping sweat off his neck as his body finally processes the heat, _don't hang up, give me a few minutes._

he looks around through everything again. was that dirt path there last year?

he chooses the unfamiliarity of it, chanhee's silent through the phone, and kevin's working out a knot on the nape of his neck from the train ride, forgoing the steady asphalt streets. 

and _oh_ , his hand stops the mini massage. the scene that greets him as the path opens up is one that makes him waver, just steps short from entering the vicinity of the sunlit playground spread before him.

kevin walks and sits on the swing, the metal creaking gently in response to his weight as he sways. 

it's good to finally back, kevin thinks, now truly processing that he's back home. that this swingset has been the same one they used to play on when they were kids, that this playground had seen a lot of scraped knees and hushed tears, that a look at the goalpost meters away from him brings back memories of high-pitched laughter, of toothy grins and reckless kicks, when a scored goal is a shared victory.

and through his memories the dirt-packed ground turns to a finely-trimmed bermuda carpet, where kevin stays on the bleachers and looks on on the soccer match happening. black jersey white shoes, a sprint through the field, quick feet but _kick_ even quicker, eyes scanning the crowd after the ball meets the net, and kevin being shown a grin borne of victory. for him alone.

or so he liked, _still likes to_ , think it is.

_but no matter_ , he gets up and tries to forget the feeling of being sunsoaked, lets the seat sway in the air as he leaves it. highschool has passed, as has his childhood, and no matter how desperate he is in wishing for those days to come back kevin is still aware of his realities now. 

so he heads back to the dirt path, emerging right beside the new clinic and the new shops he didn't notice before, finding the passersby familiar but not the baby they hold in their arms. it's _change_ , and kevin knows he needs to stop living in his nostalgias.

_keb? binnie, you still there?_ croaky from the phone. it brings him back completely to the present. 

"yeah, just… beside the clinic."

"the where?" chanhee's voice lilts, but then "neeeever mind, think this is you i'm seeing." 

the call gets cut off, and kevin busies himself with wiping his forehead when a call of " _yah! moon kevin!_ " rings out in the perfectly peaceful neighborhood. it's even louder than the motorcycle that passes by. 

he makes sure chanhee knows this of course, _you're louder than a revving vehicle, chanhee, d'you know you rival literal engines?_ , and he's rewarded with an eye-roll. a sigh rolls out from him. this day and age. an eye-roll.

_but_ , he takes it. that's a chanhee thing, and kevin wouldn't have known what to do had chanhee reacted differently.

"didn't recognize you for a moment there," chanhee says, right after wrinkling his nose when kevin itches his sweaty neck, not even hiding how he eyes kevin's hair.

it's dyed a light brown, enough that it looks a little rusty under the sun. kevin's gotten… experimental in the city, got his ears pierced and all, _would have loved a tattoo on my arms, honest_ , but he knows that anybody who mattered to him wouldn't really mind this change.

because that's an old thing, everybody knows how loud he is when it comes to expressing himself. _just physically though, not much with… words._

but no matter, that isn't what he's here for. "hey, chanhee, what's happened to the old trinkets shop by the station?" 

"ah, they took it down to rebuild the clinic, said it's so it's more accessible by the station."

_bummer_ , chanhee grins at him, _was wondering if i could have gotten mom something homemade_ , and they go down the sun-drenched streets.

in a town as rural as this, kevin finds his safest place. no city lights could amount to the glow of the setting sun mirrored by the lake just beyond the line of houses, and in the peachy-orange filter kevin remembers a someone with a sunset hair, remembers being free and young and spending summers together, recalls what vivid happiness smiles could emit when they're all from sunw— _keb, what d'you plan on gifting auntie now?_

kevin hefts his bag's strap and fiddles with the neckline of his shirt. "was thinking maybe pressed or natural flowers?"—chanhee's pressed lips say he's disappointed but his eyes are fond—"no, i mean, just for additionals. i already have something, from the city."

he thinks of the neat package inside his bag. part of why he's done part-time jobs, appreciation wrapped in silk ribbons. kevin knows he is missed but he hopes that for this time it'll be enough.

they pass by the school; well, _schools_ , kindergarten primary and secondary school all in a row, but they're all under one name anyway, so technically it's supposed to be— _you know what, stop, just. kevin_. 

anyway, school or schools or _whatever_ , kevin still slows his pace when he walks at the edge of the gated vicinity. he's spent all of his childhood here, 17 of his 19 years on earth, and that's bound to get him sentimental. he misses how all his earlier summers are spent trying to sneak in here at night, all hushed voices and smiles hidden at the absence of light. he misses his friends, the canteen, _god the canteen sandwiches_ , the impromptu guitar sessions at the outdoor benches. _especially_ the after-classes guitar sessions.

everything's colored like memories because that's what they all are, feeling like a movie in his mind with a filter the same color as this sunset peach that blankets his realities now, the reality where chanhee is already steps ahead of him but he's still stuck right in front of highschool's main gate.

so he grits his teeth and pushes on until he's back to matching chanhee's pace, and they go on a few minutes like this, though kevin acknowledges the want to turn back and reminisce just once more.

but he doesn't allow it, and as kevin forces himself to look straight ahead, chanhee touches his arm and directs a pout to where the street is now bordered by metal fences. and _really, i should've known, it's not like chanhee to point out things that don't matter,_ through the gaps of the bars kevin sees _him_.

laughing loud, the glare of daylight from off the pool casting him even brighter than the sun currently stuck on its 5pm throne. there are children present, toothy-grins and in little swimsuits and floaties around their arms, and they are led away from the shallow kiddie pools by _kim sunwoo_.

kevin should have known, that no number of months nor years away could have changed this, changed _him_ , changed whatever feelings he tried so hard to not show the day he went away and left him here.

_keb_ , the children are lined up, obedient to their instructor, _kebin-ah it's almost sunset already_ , sunwoo gives them a high-five each before they go back to their parents and even as there's no one else watching sunwoo is still smiling, _kevin!_

the snapped turn of his head worsens the soreness he had from the train ride. 

chanhee must notice, see the pain when he flinches and maybe something more, with the way he takes kevin's bag from off his shoulders and slots his arms through the straps. the eyebrow he raises makes no room for argument.

"wanna go inside?"

kevin shakes his head and takes steps back from where he's almost pressed up against the gate. his desperation apparent to him only now, kevin turns and tears his eyes away from the sight of sunwoo now laughing bright through the gates' bars.

"wouldn't want to intrude."

_besides, he's on duty_. faint through the sudden wind blowing past is a shout sounding lot like his name, but he ignores it and walks away. kevin drags chanhee back to the streets and overthinks that if they don't head out soon then sunwoo would see them and kevin would be forced to confront his feelings and he'd be _so so embarrassing in front of him, god, please, take me away from here._

"you don't have to hide it from me, keb."

chanhee looks at him, and kevin is forced to brave the weight of his gaze as he continues, "i know, but i won't tell, don't worry."

though he must see the hesitance in kevin, must notice the way he doesn't even acknowledge it.

_why don't we hike up the hill, maybe find better flowers?_ , and chanhee drags him away from the pain. _let's see, maybe there'd be sunflowers too_. though kevin thinks he should have known better than to let his eyes linger, or that he could have hidden it better, even as the assurance of secrecy in this current reality is something he now shares with chanhee.

they stroll through the streets, sunlight slipping but they've no hurry in their steps. the hills are just up ahead anyway, both of them can see the landmarks just fine, although even now kevin still has no idea what else to gift his mother, just that he wants it to _mean_ something. 

"how on earth did you notice that, though? i didn't even realize it until i had to move away." 

"binnie, sunwoo's probably the only one who didn't see shit."

_yeah_ , kevin looks at the fishcakes stall they pass by, chanhee nears and pays for both their orders, slapping his hands away when they reach for his bag to retrieve his wallet. _it would be totally like him to not notice it_ , through chewed mouthfuls as the street starts to slope upwards and cement gives way to packed soil.

chanhee asks him of his experiences as a part-time worker, _you city boy_ , and kevin tells him stories of rude boomers but more understanding teenagers, speculating that challenges of social interactions must be a thing they all share, _chanhee, listen, it's the gen-z bond, come on that's plausible_ , he indulges him this, happy that they're talking not through phones, glad that chanhee's beside him as he admires the view of the lake.

from atop the hill, the lake glimmers like a pool of swirling palettes, rose golds and shimmery blues blending with soft lavenders, these along with the peachy haze of everything as the sun kisses the waters lovely. it's a dream kevin's been thinking of for a long time, seeing feeling _being_ home again.

moments of this, taking it all in while fanning himself to stave off heat, and— "still, you should tell him," chanhee says as kevin bends down to pick a cluster of pansies from the bushes by their feet, "it's worth a try, kebin-ah."

his skin is itchy from the tall grass scattered about, from minutes spent wading through them just so he could make a sizable bouquet.

_it's for mom, you have to at least suffer for it._ sunlight is fading fast, though he doesn't dare regret the time he's spent just looking at the overview of his hometown.

chanhee hands him a ribbon, and kevin loops it twice around the stems. _huh_. it still isn't as big as he wanted it to be. "what's worth a try."

_stop being stubborn_ , chanhee speaks through a pout, kevin can hear it clear, _you should at least let him know instead of moping around when you've done nothing to face him._

he knows this isn't chanhee berating him, it's just the choice of words that makes it seem so. _then what do i do, chanhee-yah_?, it's all in the tone of his voice, and right now it's as soft as the poppy petals kevin picks and plays with. he can't deny the shame washing over him. "what do i do, when i don't want things to change between us?"

"kevin," _not keb, not kebbie_ , he notices. _not even binnie_. "they already did."

_they did when you decided to pursue your dreams_ , chanhee gets up and takes the bouquet from his hands, voice blending with the breeze ruffling his hair, _they did when you told us of your plans_ , he rearranges the poppies and the pansies and the wild sunflowers, hands quick and sure as the words he lets out, _everything did, when you boarded the train._

"but kevin," again. the bouquet looks even bigger now when it's handed back to him. "you're not the only one capable of change." 

and at that chanhee guides both of them back down, back to unfamiliar streets unfamiliar shops unfamiliar evening lit with streetlight flickers, all mimicking sunset glows, but underneath the orange lights chanhee is still pale. _you are not the sun._

it's funny how humans have invented something like artificial sunlight to chase the nights away. is that why streetlights are often orange? yellow-y? were they trying to plagiarize the sun? _oh my god chanhee we're benefitting from a crime we're uhhh crime babies fuck i can't do this anymore!_

"you are not talking to me while implying that we're sugar babies of greedy corporations, moon kevin." 

_wow that... prevented the oncoming breakdown, thanks for the disgusting mental image_ , they step off the slope and get street-level, immediately greeted by what nightlife the town center offers. there are stalls everywhere, children playing at the open plaza, contentment and the absence of greed in the air.

"mental image of what?" but before he can even let out another word chanhee just deadpans and walks away from him. 

kevin follows suit, _yeah, you know what, never mind_ , thrown over chanhee's shoulder, and as they leave the town center the air starts to quiet. 

chanhee's humming something about watermelons and strawberries and kevin thinks of sunwoo, who so loves summers but says he hates the sweat. sunwoo, who used to press close even in the heat, _hyungie buy me popsicles please please?_ , and grins this lovely sort of happiness kevin can feel the warmth of even in its absence now.

is it really too much to ask for? is it too much for a wish? is something as heavy as this meant to be hidden even when kevin struggles to not drown at how he thinks of sunwoo and realises what he's missed? 

"binnie, i dropped by earlier in the morning to greet auntie, sorry i can't be there for the party later," is what brings him to the present, chanhee giving him his bag back. 

they're standing just meters away from where the street splits into two, and kevin looks back to see the faint light in the air from the plaza, realising they've walked this much but he hasn't talked to chanhee at all. it guilts him, this selfishness he sunk into, knowing that they've got a very limited time together but he's choosing to think of feelings he could've thought of at a different time. 

but the start of his apology is cut off by chanhee's lips opening, and kevin's stops his words at the face of, "talk to him, kebin-ah. i can't say anything to assure you, don't want to ruin anything, but please." 

_assure what.. ruin...what!_ "please, just talk to him. kev. it's for him much as it is for you." 

chanhee fixes the strap of kevin's bag on his shoulder and stays his hand there, just looking at kevin, and presses on the still-sore spot on kevin's nape before retracting his hand.

"bye, chanhee-yah. have a good night, will call you when i board the train tomorrow," _what the fuck, ruin what, assure me what,_ kevin stills himself and steadies his breaths, _can't be it, no, nope_ , and walks down the street holding on to the dangling straps of his bag.

kevin pushes these thoughts away, struggles against the weight of them but perseveres anyway. _chanhee can't possibly be implying that there's something there haha_ , and kevin pities himself for falling for that. why should he bother thinking about _him_ , what right does he have to now? because even through the conversation he's had with chanhee—who's headed opposite kevin at the intersection—he still has no way to gauge the changes he's made happen.

so when he knocks at the door, when his mother and father and everybody else holds hugs kisses him, kevin stems the rush of longing and forces himself to drown in this instead.

and the celebration goes well, their home open to whoever comes in to greet his mother. kevin is used to this; their town is small and everyone knows everyone, so it's no wonder how the party spills out to the streets. 

kevin thinks he sees familiar someones mixed in the crowd, maybe highschool friends or classmates dropping by to greet and wish his mother well, but kevin's watching his baby niece and cousins along with checking the oven from time to time so he resorts to thinking of phone calls and messages as catching-up's.

there are pounds of grilled meat alongside the baskets of fresh vegetables, pastries he helped bake last minute, full bowls of _miyeok-guk_ , more of _janchi-guksu_ , and rice cakes atop tables. 

everything ends near midnight, when stomachs are full and smiles are sleepy-wide, the visitors coaxed home by the downed liquor that calls them to bed. the cleaning is never the easy part but kevin has served in restaurants enough in the past year that he speeds through the entire process.

when his mom asks him of this, kevin doesn't think of holding back the stories even as he knows that his struggles would only make her cry, _hyungseo-ah, you've grown so much already_ , but she refuses to let her tears fall on his shirt, wiping them quickly with a handkerchief.

"ah, don't mind me. you must have been tired, and you helped bake right when you arrived, too," she says, and it's taking all of kevin to not sob in front of her.

"thank you for coming home, hyungseo-ah," kevin is hugged tight, and there's nothing more tear-inducing than when his mother whispers, "it's the best present i could have asked for." 

when she looks at him properly, she wipes his tears and laughs light, cooing at the way he covers his face with his hands. _have some of the cupcakes you made, i know you haven't tasted even one_ , seating him in the kitchen and placing a plate in front of him. 

they spend minutes like this, talking about news from relatives and the neighborhood, _you know i'm not too much of a gossip, hyungseo-yah, but actually_ , how college has been treating kevin and if he's doing fine on his own.

he's just in the middle of showing pictures of his friends at the city when the doorbell sounds off, cutting him from introducing eric and the rest of them.

"hyungseo, there's someone at the door." 

his mother—faking a yawn, kevin knows that one's fake, come on—stands up, _it's so late, might as well sleep now that the party's over_ , winks at him and places the plates on the sink. "answer it. but i better see you before you go back to the city tomorrow."

_of course, mom, besides, it's not like i'll be heading out this late_ , kevin bids her good night and kisses her on the cheek before he goes, disregarding the teasing lilt to his mother's voice as she says _oh, you never know_ , and stalls by rearranging the throw pillows on the couch as he makes his way back front.

he stops in front of the door. there's a round of soft knocks this time, hesitant and sounding just as nervous as he is.

_if it isn't who you most want it to be, if it isn't him_ , kevin stills, doorknob warming to his touch as he spends moments preparing himself for having his expectations let down, _if it isn't him, moon kevin_ , he twists the doorknob and blinks slower so he'd have an excuse for closing his eyes, _just send him a text maybe, just to let him know that you were back for a day._

_let him know, come on, kev, stop being so afraid_.

the door swings open, and kevin prepares to stop the disappointment that's sure to come climbing up his throat unintentionally.

because if it isn't—

_another summer something._

him.

there's sunwoo just beyond the opened door, and kevin tries hard to not notice the way he's breathing easier with him in sight, tries not to think about just how long he's waited for this, this _another summer day_ , how much he's longed for the memory of sunwoo's smiles to be tangible reality once again.

he doesn't even register the sheepish smile, the hands fidgety in front of sunwoo, the shy way sunwoo looks up at him and doesn't even say _hi hyung, you were back?_ or anything resembling a witty banter because this look in his eyes is enough for kevin, enough because he can fool himself by thinking it feels a lot like—

_oh_ , how much he aches, the whole year he's spent thinking of coming home to this, this summer day that passes fast and turns to a summer night but sunwoo's _here_ and he's smiling beaming happy _sunny_ , all of these directed at kevin as his smile spreads to let out,

"hyung, say, would you go to the pools with me?"

**Author's Note:**

> leave comments and kudos please they're very appreciated!! stay safe, i hope you feel like sunshine <3!
> 
> [my twt!](https://mobile.twitter.com/jjukyus) [my curiouscat!](https://curiouscat.qa/kyuisms)


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